第九章、调笑(2)

52.

I chide him that he sends me the same e-mail twice last time to make me read it twice. In fact he does not have to do so, I do like reading his e-mail more than once. I think he must ever listen to the song "Read You". I still can remember the lyrics now: even though reading you more than a thousand times, I will not feel fed up with you, the feeling that I read you is just like the March, romantic season, charming poems.... And He is right I feel better than the past two months. He should know the reason, I often laugh now, yesterday when I read his letter, I cannot help my laughing, and I was even choked by the water that I was drinking. So he does not have to write me back every day, I still can read the old letters he mailed to me, that is enough.

I know he wants to make me angry to death by telling me that he is like a little pig, then he can find a better one. Wu Wu Wu~~. why my fate is so bad? But he is wrong, I feel happy instead of angry, do you know the reason? It's simple. Yes, he ever tells me that he has good stomach and he seems like drinking the beer or wine, then in the near future he will have a big beer belly, maybe, but it doesn't matter, I want to sleep on it every night instead of my pillow.

Now the society respects the right of woman, so we are fair in every aspect. The husband should share the housework, too. Therefore, I do not want him to do the cooking every day, I can serve him sometimes. Although I have to do the cooking by myself here, I am not a good cooker as he imagines; the flavor of my dish is not so well, it is better to be improved. I am a little regretful that I do not learn much more from my mother. And now I am kind of missing the dishes made by her. I suggest that during this coming spring festival, when he comes back home to reunite with his parents, he should be more patient to steal the skills from his mother. Ask more, practice more, put down the self-respect of being a little manly, after all the living is the first requirement of human beings.


53.

It's already 11:00 pm when he downloads my mail from the net bar and reads it carefully on his classmate's computer in the next dorm. He thinks that maybe I will ask him the reason he does this so late. Yes, after he ate an apple as his breakfast, he examined the test paper for his students carefully, then went to the library of his department to look for some useful information and reference books related to his research. Maybe I will never think of what he is focus on: the legal question of parentage, marriage (including heterosexual and homosexual) and the affairs of medical dispute. He copied many articles from Harvard Law Review, The Modern Law of American and other journals, now he can sit down with his big dictionary to translate them for the preparation of his final thesis. Although there is still one and half a year left, he does want to accomplish it well for his anticipated Master's degree. After that, his classmate, a pretty girl, invited him for a lunch. But I don't have to be nervous for it, that is just the matters of his job, they want to organize a party for the celebration of Christmas, the primary plan comes out to be an abundant dinner in a restaurant. Oh, these lovely pigs, they only know eating and drinking. But it's really the last time that all his classmates can sit together because they all will finish their classes this year, the left time is the period preparing for the thesis or practicing in the law firms if they like, and the reunion chance is very rare by then.

He is very drowsy this afternoon in that warm hall at the class of computer. After that, his classmate, a famous lawyer in Beijing, invited him to teach the application of computer software, also to deal with some trivial troubles of program bugs. He is not a student majoring in computer, but he does learn some useful knowledge of it. He tries his best to teach his classmate and fixes the problems occurred on his computer. It took about 2 hours to install the new windows system on his lovely legend PC. After supper with him and his wife, they went back for the final struggle against those bugs. When all the problems were settled, it's already 10:30. He feels sorry not mailing to me in time. But I don't care because I know he will miss me all the time, even without the daily mails. On the next day, he sends me a mail, something about my comments on his belly, and his future plan, very interesting.

什么？真得希望我变成一只piggy啊！我Faint 。但是，我可以很自豪地告诉你：至少我现在还没有变成小猪。虽然偶尔 会喝一点酒，那也是应酬的需要。不过，我可没有吸烟酗酒的不良习惯哦 。当然啦，我不希望会长出啤酒肚肚，难看死了，呵呵，就控制在现在的 状态吧。你问我现在的样子啊，嘻嘻，你自己来看好啦，就不告诉你。:P

今天的北京可是太冷了，好在早上起得晚，能在被窝里多温存一会儿，然 后坐起来慢慢地备课，晚上还有一大堆学生在等着呢。他们可有意思了， 我一讲完课，先是问这个问那个，全是些无关痛痒的话题，最后才脸上堆 满了笑讨好地说：“老师，考试怎么考呀？”“老师，考什么题型呀？” “老师，划不划范围？”他们显然是团体作战，群起而攻之，好在我还算 老练，不然就给问倒了。不过， 这些孩子 们真得好可爱，看到他们就想到了自己那些阳光灿烂的日子。呵呵，明显 感觉到人已老亦，当然比起你来还是年轻的，也尚能饭桶，嘻嘻，不要打 我哦。

昨天晚上在同学家聊天的时候，他请我寒假之后到他的办公室里去作助理 ，还说元旦时让我帮他设计一下儿办公室，我很高兴地答应了。我同学人 很不错的，事业心强，很聪明，做事稳重，关键是对人很好，比较有亲和 力，所以业绩斐然。我很喜欢与他在一起做事，从中我能学到好多东西， 这些对我而言是非常宝贵的。哈？什么，他是谁？嘻嘻，你用不着这么紧 张，也用不着吃醋。这位同学是我的老乡，已经结婚啦，我可是把他当老 大哥看的。虽然人长得很精神，可大哥就是大哥，不是bf 。好了，不说了，免得你受不了刺激以头抢地，岂不惨矣？明年的计划可 是太多了，一方面要实习，最重要的是复习英语，另一方面还得准备律师 资格考试和毕业论文。真是充实死了，计划表都快爆了。我希望自己能天 天睡在书上，嘻嘻，梦里闻着书香，充分汲取知识的养份，当然身上也会 留下许多的油墨吧，那样你“读”起我来，内容可就丰富多了。然后你可 以把我放到书架上，只是别忘了偶尔拿出来喂我点吃的，这样嘛，其他的 家务事自然全包给你啦（小声地偷着乐：真是舒服死喽）！

对了，你怎么把你的财政收入也都曝光了？当心哦，可爱的傻瓜。看到你 说要供我这只小胖猪读书，真得很感动。可我是个独立性很强的人，所以 还是希望通过自己的力量来丰衣足食，当然我可不会傻到排斥爱人的关怀 。但别忘了，如果有机会的话，还要多多关心一下儿咱爸咱妈。看看，汉 语就是好，这种语气洋鬼子的话可表达不出来。

至于考试的事，我还要拿出专门的时间来研究。最近，我从网上和报纸上 看到了很多关于考托和考G的文章，收获也 不小。当然，不如你现身说法的方式好。你晚上也是12 点多才睡觉吗？系统显示你发信的时间是在半夜，当心身体，注意营养， 然后努力打败那些老外，多拿高分，我就多给你一些奖励，那就是（当当 当当~~~~~~）大嘴巴Kiss ，哈，直到把你的脸亲肿为止。

好了，不多聊了。一会儿回去再到床上猪上片刻，然后继续备课。你要实 在觉得闷，就把自己寄过来好了，不过外包装上千万要注明：“内物珍贵 ，注意通气，不得倒置，小心轻放”之类的，哈哈。


54.

I tell him that he does not have to report his whereabouts to me everyday, I am not that kind of girls who keep a watchful eye on their husbands, I am not that kind of narrow-minded person, he can do anything that he likes.

I have finished my tests, at least I can have a chance to breathe the fresh air and have a rest now, and find fun for myself. Today my supervisor took us to have a lunch, the seafood, I think he can smell the" fishy fragrant" on my body, if he is beside me now. I know he likes the smell, just like the cat. What's more, when the American student takes me to the restaurant, she shows me a good place to go, I will tell him the truth because I am an honest boy, especially I do not want to cheat him. She tells me that I can find the naked girls in the street, and she is afraid that I can not understand it so she repeats that those nude girls, who are the lap girls performing for the customers. Then I joke that if he does not protect himself well, I will hold the grudge against him, eye for eye, teeth for teeth. I will go to such kind of places every day, until the day I change myself and like one of them. I know he must feel a little afraid of me, well, I am generous and can give him a chance, that is, he promises to miss me when he goes to bed every night. For exchange, I can give him a promise that I will never go to such kind of places, which is fair. Although it is just afternoon I feel a little sleepy when I write to him, maybe I eat too much. But these days I cannot sleep well, always wake up early, I want to go back to my apartment to have a rest, try my best to catch up with him in weight, then one day I can show him my beer belly too. But maybe this hope cannot be realized forever, because as he knows I go to gym to practice every week, so I only can show him my muscle in future.


55.

In those days there are something wrong with his sina e-mail box, he cannot login in it. The boss of the bar finally told him that maybe it's caused by the bad line of the service provider. Then he has to write this mail on his classmate's computer and save them until the day when the e-mail system is normal. He can't imagine the days without my mails. It's already Sunday, it should be a good weekend except a bit cold. He stayed in the dorm chatting with his classmates and watching TV play, very interesting story acted by Hong Kong actors and actresses such as Cheng xiaochun, Liang yongqi etc,. They all enjoyed that very much and laughed from time to time. On the report of world express, a news program on CCTV1 at 5:00 daily, there is an interesting report about the co-protection of the earth atmosphere. It is reported that most of the countries and areas have adopted the treaty to reduce the output of waste gases, including carbon dioxide, except the stubborn America. And the issue was shifted to the conference spokesman, who is an old representative from America, he talked lightly and freely when an indignant audience threw a piece of quite delicious cake on his face. He couldn't help laughing until his classmates rushed into his room to see what on earth happened there. So he thinks that I am breathing the dirty air in US more than the other part of the world, then he wants to send me some fresh breeze by artificial breath, but first I should open my mouth and keep my nose fluent.

One of his friends wants to try for the entrance exam for the 2001 law graduate, this cute guy gave him about 6 topics that might come out on the test paper. Then he got a lot of work this weekend, and there was only one day left before he was urged to death. He threatened me that if I dared to go to that place to see the so-called nude girls once more, or just had a bit idea of that, he swears that he will rush to America to bond me up and throw me in the bed, then open his mouth full of sharp teeth and aim at the very position of my body, that's his personal revenge to me. 哼,你这个大鬼, 还有你那个好心肠的美国女同学,什么事不 好说偏教你学坏，改天我非去把她的牙打掉，哈哈。不会是她对你有意思 了吧？好同志，考验你的时刻到了，你可要抵得住资本主义美色的诱惑呀 。否则（捏了捏手里的拳头），就叫你尝尝肉馒头的滋味！


56.

I answer him that he is wrong, the environment here is very beautiful, no air or water pollution. I have proof to support my opinion. Today I go to the beach (please notice not to visit the bitch) with many Chinese students there, about 50, it is the first time that I see so many Chinese students since I came here. We have barbecue together, and I am the main cook, if he knows where I come from he will not feel surprised that I am responsible for so important a task. Of course I would like to service for them, to show off my so-called skill. Especially those Chinese girls, they always praise me even help me get rid of sweat with their own handkerchief, oh my god, how happy I am today. There is a 13-year old girl, she is so attracted by me, always runs around me and wants to give me a hand. So he should know my charm that can make the girls whose ages varying from 10 to 40 faint. I am the black horse prince in their eyes.

After lunch, we play football (American), soccer together on the snow white beach, the sun is so shinning, the sea wind breeze lightly over our hair. What a beautiful sunshine day. I know he must have been jealous to death. As he tells me, it is cold in Beijing now, what he can do is just stay at dorm and watch those silly youth idol videos. How boring he is. Oh, I forget to tell him another great finding, we even happen to meet some real models who are taking photos on the beach, so cool they are, the perfect curve, the healthy skin, the colorful hair, oh what a wonderful day. I know he is a little worried about me after he knows there are so many girls here, no matter it is Chinese or American, old or young, beautiful or common, especially he knows how popular I am. I am afraid I can not keep myself one day and will be captured by one of them, so I wish he could hurry up and to save me as early as possible.



(to be continued)